We just got back from a week up in North Conway (well Bartlett to be precise) so I thought I’d check in since I haven’t posted anything for a week or so.

For the last 3 or 4 years Kev had stayed home to work for at least part of each vacation (and apparently to host parties at our house but we’ll just leave that one be for another time). Last year he didn’t join us at all up in New Hampshire so it didn’t really feel different that he wasn’t with us this year. At the same time, visiting a lot of the same places where we had spent time together as a family in the past was nostalgic and we often found ourselves remembering specific times with Kev over the years.

We hiked out to Arethusa Falls this year, a hike we took several years ago when Kev was still vacationing with us. It was a memorable hike last time for a number of reasons, this time it was pretty straight forward. Some of the photos I took last time are still on my computer and I was noticing how small Drew and Kata were the last time we went out there. On the way back many years ago we stopped for Ice Cream at a place right near the base of Bear Peak, I took a picture of the 3 kids on a wooden Jeep that was our Christmas picture that year. It’s been the wallpaper on my home PC for years. I couldn’t bring myself to stop there this year.

We spent a couple of hours at Lower Falls one afternoon, another favorite place of Kevs. Of course there was outlet shopping. Anyone who knows Kevin knows how much he liked to shop. I’d rather do just about anything than spend a day at the outlet malls so this isn’t one of the things I shared with him, but his mom missed him for sure.

We finished up the week over at Whale’s Tale, just down the street from Indian Head. Kev had a blast up there one year with the Sylvester’s. The Karaoke night was talked about for a long time afterwards.

Sometimes at moments like these it really hits me that he’s gone. A lot of the time you can walk around the empty space or look right through it, but sometimes you can’t ignore the hole.

We keep plugging along as best we can. Some days are better than others.

Kevin, I really wish you had come with us more over the last couple of years. I know you were spreading your wings and straining for independence, but you missed out on some special times. I always thought in time you’d start coming with us again, maybe not until you had children of your own, but it was always part of my plan. If it works out so you can come along in the future you’ll always be welcome. I’ll be looking for your face in the clouds and listening for your voice in the wind.


About garbear25

I'm a sad dad.
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