Everyone grieves differently is often stated, but on some level it’s harder to grasp than to say. I think it’s really important to understand this reality if you are going to move forward.
A simple example might help illustrate. My wife is struggling with going to soccer games. It’s really difficult for her to be in the same stands, watching players in the same uniforms play on the same field where a few short years ago Kevin himself played. The memories become overwhelming for her. I on the other hand take great pleasure in the same act. I love the memories that wash over me at those times and I feel closeness to Kevin’s spirit that’s sometimes hard to find in everyday life.
Two people grieving the same individual, two polar opposite reactions. Both are valid.
We all turn to each other for support but I find sometimes it takes conscious effort and insight to put aside my own grief place to support someone else. It’s hard, but I’m pretty sure it’s helpful to do so. Understanding the grief of others, particularly those who are grieving Kev, helps me to process my own feelings.
Your grief, and your reactions are valid and real but you are only alone if you choose to be. Just remember, when you are looking for support from someone that you must also give support, not necessarily right now, but eventually you’ll be called upon. It might be the person you turn to for support, or it might be someone else who needs your help, but don’t turn your back. Giving of yourself is a part of this ongoing process. We have all leaned things that we can share with the next troubled soul, and when we do we take another step towards our own reconciliation.
You will get what you give.