I’m not in a bad place right now.  I have a better outlook, I feel like I’m appreciating life a little bit.  I’m allowing myself to enjoy the good times with friends and family and to laugh a little.

I’m sure the darkness will return, hopefully each time the downturn will be a little shorter and perhaps a little less steep.  There are no guarantees but I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

I was thinking today about why we might be here.  Let me state for the record that I claim no definitive knowledge in this area.  These are just my musings on a day where the recent darkness has let up for a bit.

What is the purpose of this existence?  It could be purposeless I suppose, but that doesn’t feel right.  I sense a consciousness that is more than random firings of synapses in my brain.  I can’t describe it exactly, but I feel it, like you can sense whether you are in an open or closed space in total darkness even though you can’t see or feel anything.

I was thinking maybe the purpose is suffering.  That’s a pessimistic way of looking at the world but we’ve certainly had a heaping portion of pain over the years.  Maybe that’s why we are here.

Then I thought no, suffering and pain are not the purpose, they are the tools, the flames that temper the steel.  It seems to me the purpose might just be wisdom.  Not knowledge, but wisdom.  There is a distinction.  Knowledge ignores intuition.  Only that which can be objectively tested passes for knowledge.  Wisdom is more than that.  Wisdom is understanding.  Wisdom can ask “why”.

Wisdom is understanding that it’s better to come home to a dog than to an empty house.  Wisdom is understanding how to sooth the fears of a frightened child.  Wisdom understands that giving is its own reward.  Wisdom is understanding that winners and losers are not only determined by the final score.  Wisdom accounts for love, not as a chemical reaction to advance the species through procreation, but as the warmth you can see in the eyes of an old married couple holding hands as they walk through town.

Wisdom goes beyond knowledge.  Most of my life I’ve limited my own contemplations to knowledge.  Pain has broken down a door to a new place that I feel the need to explore, a place where Wisdom reigns.

Well, take it or leave it, those are my thoughts for the day.


About garbear25

I'm a sad dad.
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2 Responses to Wisdom

  1. Paula says:

    Well Said

  2. carol Styczko says:

    I started reading this looking for comfort in losing Kevin…finding a way to see how you and Lisa are doing…that you may not share in the day to day….and know….that what you write is special…it trancends the loss of Kevin and can touch, comfort and support so many with other losses as well.Please know how special this is…and I know at this point it is still about YOUR journey…I hope at a point where it feels right with you…you can share “your journey” in a book…to help so many more…you are a VERY talented writer Gary:)…..and a very special person…so glad you found my best friend:)….
    (((( ❤ ))))

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