The Songs

I have a knack for picking technological gadgets that will not stand the test of time.  I never owned a Betamax, but that’s probably the last time I didn’t buy the future artifact.

See, I have a Zune, not an iPod.  I really like it.  I like the flexibility of a subscription music service where I don’t need to buy every song.  I figure in time it will be useless but for now I still like it.  I also own a Nook, so that’s probably doomed.

I put a new stereo in the old car (for Drew) and recently bought a new car that I’ve been driving so now both cars have a jack for a music player.  I usually listen to my music collection on my Zune now while driving rather than skipping around between commercials on the radio.

There are a bunch of songs I have in my collection that bring up memories of Kev.  Some are songs he liked and some are just songs I have in my collection that remind me of him.

One song we shared was Tha Crossroads by Bonz, Thugs & Harmony.  Kev had this in a mix CD in his car and I think it shocked him that I knew the words.  When the song came out years ago I thought it had a great message and a brilliant video.  If you’ve never heard it it’s about missing friends and relatives who have passed on.  If can be a little tough to listen to these days but I never skip it when it comes up and yes I will see you at Tha Crossroads someday Kev.

One song everyone in the family associates with Kev is Lay Me Down but Dirtyheads.  Kind of a smooth R&B song with a great reggae beat.  It was one of Kev’s favorites and was on the CD his girlfriend put together for his wake.  Whenever any of us hear this song, especially when it comes up on the radio we feel like Kev is nearby.

My Immortal by Evanescence and The Fray’s How to Save a Life where played under the video tribute at Kev’s funeral.  For me they’ll forever be associated with that day of pain, but I still don’t turn them off when they come on.

Warren Zevon’s Keep Me In Your Heart is another that brings me to thoughts of Kev, for obvious reasons.  The Green Fields of France by The Dropkick Murphy’s is an old standard reworked by the Irish Punkers.  It has a verse that’s always killed me, more so since losing Kev:

and did you leave a wife or a sweetheart behind
In some loyal heart is yAour memory enshrined
And though you died back in 1916
To that loyal heart you’re forever nineteen
Or are you a stranger without even a name
Forever enshrined behind some old glass pain
In an old photograph torn tattered and stained
And faded to yellow in a brown leather frame

I can rest easy that Kevin will never be just a nameless photograph to all of us who loved him, though he will forever be twenty-one to all the loyal hearts who knew him.

The one that really gets me every time is Do You Remember by Jay Sean.  Kevin died during the middle of high school soccer season.  Team mates he had played with as freshmen were seniors in the program at the time and his little brother was a then a freshman in the program.  The players dedicated the remainder of their season to Kevin and at the year ending banquet Kev’s number 2 was retired.  A slideshow of pictures with Kevin playing for the Falcons was played at the banquet and Do You Remember was the song under it.

I have no evidence that Kev liked this song, but I’m sure he did.  It was absolutely in his wheelhouse, an up tempo R&B song about a guy trying to get back with his girl.  “Do You Remember…Let’s Bring it Back” is the hook from the chorus.  Damn right, let’s bring it back, and yes I remember….every little bit, and I’ll never forget.

This song brings the tears every time I hear it.  I’m listening to it right now as I write crying like a baby.  I really don’t feel bad about it.  It feels kind of good to be honest.  I still miss him, it makes me sad, but sometimes I need to feel these feelings.

I’m listening to Soulshine now as I finish up, the Government Mule version (better than the Allman Brothers original, I have both on my Zune because I didn’t have to pay for it twice).  It’s a nice reminder to let my Soulshine after feeling a little down.


About garbear25

I'm a sad dad.
This entry was posted in Grief, Random Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink.

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