You can’t really say why you do it, but sometimes you just do. You know the sadness that is behind the curtain, but you have to lift it and look, just the same.
Shortly after Kevin died my niece gave me a framed print of clouds with Kev’s initials and some lyrics from a Kenny Chesney song. I confess I’m not a country music fan at all so I had never heard of the song. A couple of months ago one of Kevin’s friends posted the lyrics from the same song on his Facebook wall.
I don’t know where these compulsions come from, I suspect it’s just something I do subconsciously when I need to shed some tears, but last night I called up the song on the internet and for the fist time I listened to it.
If you are a county music fan and you know the song I’m talking about you can probably guess my reaction. Tears flowed freely for a little while. I guess it was just time.
Now right after that, for some reason, I was watching the 40 top R&B Songs of the Nineties on VH-1. The number two song, which I had also never heard (perhaps I should switch off the classic rock from time to time), was One Sweet Day by Mariah Carey and Boyz to Men. The show explained what the song was about, missing a loved one lost to heaven, so I decided to check it out this morning.
I was a really good song, it didn’t wreck me like Where You’d Be Today, and the emotion I felt was less sad and more hopeful. I haven’t posted them here, but I’ve written a couple of pieces about meeting up with Kev in the afterlife, I imagine it will be a sweet day.
I guess I have a couple of more songs to download. I hope they come up on shuffle in the right order.